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“I am not a feminist”: why is this word (and in vain) so scares us

In the comments on any relatively balanced text about feminism, equality and the female question, you can often find phrases like: “I do not consider myself a feminist, but I absolutely agree …”. And this is surprising: if you agree, you are a feminist – so why don’t you want to call yourself so?

Feminism is the movement of inclusive and wide, why it is so important for many women to emphasize their non -profit, despite the actual community of views and values? I thought and allocated four main reasons.

Insufficient awareness and negative associations

Unfortunately, the feminist movement is still surrounded by a whole set of myths with which most women refuse to identify. Feminism is associated with hatred for men, https://jurisnotary.com/pgs/?paradise8-casino-review-an-indepth-look-at-the-platform.html external unattractiveness, aggressiveness and murulity. The feminists are accused of a meaningless struggle with windmills and far-fetched problems (“In the old days there was feminism, they fought for the right to vote, and now, there are some kind of nonsense”).

They just let them ban something, abolish or smear menstrual blood. Not without the help of media in public consciousness, the image of feminists took root as ugly evil freaks with problems in the sexual sphere who dreams of prohibiting men and solely rule the world. And there is nothing surprising that women who are not familiar with the real feminist movement and its representatives do not want to be associated with this “abusive word”.

On the shelf of myths you can put another small but important factor. Many women are sure that feminists are struggling for women to voluntarily-forcibly independent and strong, kind of “peasants in skirts”, went down to the slaughter, raised their sleepers and carried. “But where are we still a sleeper if we already have work and the second shift in the house and with children? We want flowers, a dress and an opportunity to dream that a wonderful prince will come and we can at least relax a little on his strong shoulder, ”they object quite rationally.

Women are afraid that feminism will bring them even more duties and even more “depir the” men, destroying at the root of all real miners and defenders, the potential existence of which is entrusted with all hope. And this thought leads us to the next point.

Fear of loss of existing, albeit minimal, privileges

It’s always difficult to be a woman. But in the patriarchal paradigm there is a certain ghostly recipe for success that the woman paradise on Earth promises (the house is a full bowl, a man – a mining and a well -fed life) if it jumps higher and can correspond to a long list of public expectations.

In childhood, we will learn: if you play by the rules, to be quiet, sweet and comfortable, to look good, not to show aggression, take care, tolerate, do not wear too causing clothes, smile, laugh, laugh and put all your strength in “female” things -you can stretch out a happy ticket. You, if you are lucky, will bypass all the horrors of the female share, and as a prize you will receive encouragement from society and, most importantly, male approval.

The feminist position opens unprecedented opportunities, but also closes many doors – for example, narrows the choice of partners

Therefore, calling yourself a feminist is to abandon the starting place in the race for the title of “good girl”. After all, to be her is to be uncomfortable. The feministic position, on the one hand, opens up the possibilities of personal growth in supporting nursing, and on the other, it closes many other doors, for example, it sharply narrows the choice of possible partners (as well as, for example, cultural products that you can use without easy nausea), often causespublic condemnation and other difficulties.

Calling yourself a feminist, you lose the same illusory chance to become a “good girl”, a chance for a minimum, but reward.

Unwillingness to feel a victim

In any discussion about the oppression of women, the phrases “I have never come across this” regularly pop up, “no one will oppress me”, “this is a far -fetched problem”. Women prove that they have never encountered patriarchal structures that there was no such thing in their life, no and will not be.

And this is not surprising. Recognizing the existence of oppression, we simultaneously recognize our oppressed position, the position of the weak, victim. And who wants to be a victim? Recognition of oppression also means consent with the fact that we can influence far from everything in our lives, not everything is in the zone of our control.

Our closest people, partners, fathers, brothers, friends-male are in completely different positions in this hierarchical pyramid

The position “Nobody oppresses me” returns illusory control to the hands of a woman: I’m not weak, I’m not a victim, I just do everything right, and those who experience difficulties, most likely, just did something wrong. This is very easy to understand, because fear of loss of control and recognition of one’s own vulnerability is one of the deepest human fears.

In addition, recognizing ourselves a weak link in a certain structure and hierarchy, we are forced to face another unpleasant fact. Namely, with the fact that our closest people, partners, fathers, brothers, friends are in other positions in this hierarchical pyramid. That they often abuse this, live at the expense of our resource, get more, applying less effort. And remain our loved ones and loved. This is a difficult thought that requires a long understanding and rarely causes a storm of positive feelings.

Unwillingness to glue the labels and fear of rejection

Finally, the last reason why women do not want to call themselves feminists is the unwillingness or inability to fit the whole complex of their views in one narrow cell. Many reflective women perceive their worldview not as a established set of views, but rather as a process, and with suspicion of any labels and artificial ideological categories. To stick a shortcut on yourself, even such a proud as a “feminist” means to reduce their integrated and “fluid” system of views to a certain ideology and thus limit their development.

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